When it comes to a marriage covenant[1], there is much debate as to whether or not God will bless a second marriage. This is a question that can be difficult to answer because it involves faith and personal interpretation of various scriptures, which might suggest different things.
It is important to consider all angles before making any decisions concerning remarriage. Ultimately, the individual’s faith will guide them to their own conclusions. The Bible does not explicitly say that God will or won’t bless a second marriage. However, it is clear that the scriptures emphasize faithfulness and commitment in relationships.
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What Does The Bible Say About Second Marriage?
When it comes to a second marriage, the Bible certainly does not condone it. In fact, the Bible is unequivocal in its stance that God hates divorce and considers it a sin. However, while the Bible is clear on God’s view of divorce, some verses suggest that He may be willing to grant permission for a second marriage in certain circumstances.
The first biblical reference to remarriage appears in Deuteronomy 24:1–4. In Deuteronomy 25:5–10, Moses states that under certain circumstances, an Israelite could marry his late wife’s sister if she were to remain unmarried and if he had not been intimate with her before his wife’s death or during their betrothal period. This passage implies that Moses considered remarriage permissible under some conditions, although this is not explicitly stated.
Matthew 5:31 states that if a man divorces his wife, he must give her an official divorce document. This could imply that God allows people the freedom to choose their own circumstances and follow the law of the land in deciding whether or not to pursue a second marriage.
The implication here is that God does recognize the validity of a second marriage in some instances. Still, it remains up to individuals to decide for themselves if they wish to remarry or remain single. Romans 7:2–3 provides further evidence, as it speaks of marriage being dissolved by death rather than divorce.
This implies that while God may not actively condone divorce and remarriage, He does accept it as a reality in certain situations. Paul also speaks of the grace available to those who have experienced divorce in 1 Corinthians 7:10–16. Here, he states that if one party has been divorced, then the other is free to marry again without sinning against God.
Is Remarriage A Continuous Sin?
The debate of whether remarriage is a sin in a biblical context has been around for centuries. It can be argued that the Bible does not explicitly deem marriage a sin. Therefore, remarriage should not be considered as such. Romans 7:2–3 states, “For example, by law, a married woman is bound to her husband as long as he is alive, but if her husband dies, she is released from the law that binds her to him.”
So then, if she marries another man while her husband is still alive, she is called an adulteress. “But if her husband dies, she is released from that law and is not an adulteress if she marries another man” (NIV). This passage is often used to support the argument that remarriage is not a sin as long as one’s original spouse has died.
However, other passages in the Bible can be used to argue that remarriage is a sin. Deuteronomy 24:1–4 states, “If a man marries a woman and then divorces her, he may never marry her again after she has been defiled; for that would be detestable in the eyes of the Lord. You must not bring guilt upon the land the Lord your God is giving you as an inheritance” (NIV). This passage supports the argument that remarriage is considered a sin in a biblical context and should be avoided.
Furthermore, some scholars believe that when a divorced woman commits adultery by engaging in sexual relationships outside of her first marriage, she is also committing sin by remarrying.
This is due to the belief that a woman who has had sexual relations outside of her original marriage has renounced her right to marry a second time without being guilty of adultery and sexual immorality in the eyes of God. Therefore, any subsequent marriages would be considered sinful.
The concept of remarriage being a sin is most likely rooted in the idea of loyalty to one’s original spouse, and while this can be an admirable trait, it should not be used as an excuse to prevent people from finding new happiness.
Ultimately, the decision to enter a second marriage should be left up to those involved, keeping in mind that hardships are just part of life and that God is in control. He desires His children to seek Him first and foremost, trusting Him with all their decisions. As long as we remember this vital truth, remarriage is certainly possible without being considered a continuous sin.
Why Is Remarriage Considered A Continuous Sin?
In the Bible, marriage is seen as a sacred bond between two individuals who join as one flesh and is considered to be lifelong. According to biblical teachings, a husband and wife are to stay together until death separates them. Some view remarriage after divorce or separation as an offense against God.
This view of remarriage as a continuous sin stems from several key passages in Scripture, which indicate that God intended marriage to be permanent and that any disruption through divorce or remarriage would violate His will. The most prominent passage on this topic comes from Jesus’ teaching on divorce in Matthew 19:3–9.
Jesus states, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery,” indicating that remarriage is a sin. Jesus explains that Moses allowed divorce because of the hardness of people’s hearts, but God originally intended marriage to be permanent. His point was that remarriage after divorce should not be seen as an acceptable practice, and those who did so would be considered adulterous in God’s eyes.
Paul also addresses this issue in 1 Corinthians 7:10–11, where he states, “To the married, I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband.” This passage reinforces Jesus’ teaching about the permanence of marriage. It suggests that even if one partner decides to leave the relationship, it is still considered adultery for either partner to remarry.
Will God Bless A Marriage That Started With Adultery?
The Bible teaches that adultery is a sin, and God takes it very seriously. In the Old Testament, Moses’ law instructed those who commit adultery to be put to death (Leviticus 20:10). Though this law is no longer binding on Christians today, it serves as a reminder of just how seriously God regards unfaithfulness in marriage.
So does this mean a marriage that starts with adultery can never receive God’s blessing? Not necessarily. The Bible also tells us that “where sin increases, grace abounds all the more” (Romans 5:20). In other words, even if a marriage has been marred by unfaithfulness and betrayal from the beginning, through repentance and forgiveness, it can still be blessed by God.
Repentance is an important part of the equation for a marriage that has been touched by adultery to find its way back to God’s blessing. Repentance means acknowledging one’s sin and turning away from it and toward God instead. It also involves seeking forgiveness from those who have been wronged—in this case, an adulterous spouse would need to ask their partner for forgiveness for their marriage to receive God’s blessing.
Will God Bless A Second Marriage?
The answer to this question depends on the individual’s beliefs. For some, marriage is seen as a holy covenant between two people and God, while others view it differently. Biblically speaking, a second marriage can be blessed by God if certain conditions are met. In the Bible, polygamy was common in ancient times but was not endorsed or encouraged by God.
When Christ came into the world, He set aside old teachings and brought with Him new laws that were centered around love and equality. Jesus taught his followers that divorce should only occur in cases of unfaithfulness and that remarriage afterward would be considered adultery (Matthew 19:9). This teaching has been maintained throughout history, with some exceptions being granted, such as in cases of desertion or a spouse’s death.
Conclusion
A second marriage may be seen as an act of sin by some, but this perspective is not universally accepted. Even the Bible does not explicitly deny remarriage; many people find happiness in their second marriages. God will bless a second marriage if it is entered into with respect, love, and faithfulness to one another.
If both parties have studied Scripture and made sure they are joining the union for the best reasons—happiness and companionship—then God’s blessing should undoubtedly follow! Ultimately, seeking counsel from religious leaders may help couples make decisions consistent with their faith and beliefs.
While I was separated from my first marriage, I met a wonderful man. After my divorce was final we got married. We have been married for 27 years now. My husband has been working on his relationship with God and wants to get baptized. But now we also have the issue of my divorce and our marriage being a continues sin. Wanting to follow God and His path, are we to no longer be together as a married couple and separate our lives from each other?
I think it’s not so black and white depending on your situation.. I hope you get a response
The bible is clear. He who marries a divorced woman commits adultery (Matt 19:9). Therefore…
Let her remain unmarried or be reconciled with her husband (1 Cor 7:11).
Adam. My divorce was not my idea or my sin that caused it. He has been married 2 more times since me. Are you saying that for me to remarry is a sin? I’m very confused about this remarriage for the innocent party
Will definitely be following this. Same here. Married 31 years and he filed for divorce last year. Tried reconciliation which he well I guess both barely tried. Kind of hard to work on things when he is a travel nurse plus my health issues. So now back at divorce. I’m going to sign the papers this week.
Yes Adam. Amen!! The Bible is very clear that remarriage is a sin. Death is the only way to be loosed from Gods law of marriage. Divorce may free you from that spouse physically and mans law allows you to remarry but the 1st marriage covenant is still in tact in the sight of God. Gods marriage law applies to a (covenant marriage). Any marriage there after, if your covenant spouse is still living, is SIN and you must repent to be forgiven and inherit the kingdom of God.
If your first husband is still alive then you are committing adultery.
I agree with the above statement .Based on Matthew 5:32, Mt 19:3-9. Paul reiterates this in 1Corinthians 7:10-11. These 3 scriptures tell it like it is. Unfortunately so many don’t except it, and try to make the scriptures fit their sinful, adulterous situation.
Not everyone who is divorced is an adulterer. But the scripture is not clear for the one who has had the sins of another forced upon them
Hi Bella. So if your divorced spouse had any type of sexual immortality during the marriage or if he was an unbeliever and wanted a divorce you are free to marry.
Hope this helps.
Matthew 19:9
1 Corinthians 7:15
Jesus told the woman at the well to go and sin no more you repented of all your sins when you were saved at the well he didn’t say repent and go back to your first husband I believe Gods grace is sufficient for us all religious beliefs will put more burdens on us than we can bear Be much in prayer God will direct your path. Whom the Lord sets free is free indeed
If God is so against divorce, no matter what, then why does it say in the book of Hosea that he divorced Israel due to their unfaithfulness and their HEARTS, that they had LEFT their true love. then he told the prophet to marry a prostitute, who had most likely had intercourse probably hundreds of times? Hmmmm no one seems to be able to reconcile that though. That’s interesting.
Except for the cause of fornication. The people of Israel committed fornication over and over.
If a wife commits fornication, her husband may put her away. This doesn’t mean he should, but he is permitted to according to Jesus’ teachings.
Adultery….
Was she ever married? Or just a prostitute? Was the Prophet ever married? Even though fornication is wrong, the Bible never never said that it was a sin to not not marry a virgin.
My first point is…If you study the original Hebrew text two different words are used for the separation of a marriage. One means putting away and the other divorce. Putting away means to send your wife away without a divorce. When a man was unhappy with his wife, he would send her away back to her parents if she had or out on the streets. She could not remarry because she was still married. If she had no family, she had no means to take care of herself and was shunned by society. She usually turned to prostitution as a way to survive. The other word meant divorce. That is why it says that a man must give her a letter of divorce.
My second point…In the Old Testament men had many wives and God never said that it was a sin. In fact, Jacob had 12 wives and they s became the 12 tribes of Israel. Lamech had two wives. Also, God, himself laid down rules for taking a second wife. If a man takes a second wife, he must continue to provide food, housing and raiment for the first. As well, if a man takes a second wife (and she has children) and he loves her more than the first wife (who also gives him children), the first born of the first wife is to be his heir.
My final point, God wants everyone to be in a loving relationship. Why are there more males born than females. Is it his intention that only some women should have a man to care for them? As a woman that had to leave her marriage after 13 years of physical abuse do I not deserve to find happiness and security elsewhere? Is God so heartless that he would punish me leaving my abusive marriage and remarriage? Afterall, when he created man, he said that it was not good for humans to be alone. God created us to love and to be loved. So, I believe that God is a loving and understanding God who wants us to be happy in him.
The scripture certainly allowed for divorce in the event of adultery and hardness of heart but you are to remain unmarried until death do you and you’re spouse apart. Scriptures are in Romans, 1Cor, Deu, Matt and Mark.
Does this mean spiritual death or physical death?? Bible says to the unmarried (Hebrew translation of unmarried is divorced) and the widows that is is best if they do not marry but if they cannot excessive self control, let them marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.
Hi Nathan. The story of Hosea and his wife Gomer is a love story reflecting the faithfulness of God to His wife Israel and His Holiness and Righteousness when Israel went after other lovers. Hosea is pictured as the husband of a broken heart after Gomer goes after other lovers on numerous occasions. At the end of the book of Hosea, he (Hosea), purchases his wife, Gomer, back from the slave market and proves to Gomer, that throughout her unfaithfulness Hosea stayed faithful and committed yet bearing the pain of a broken heart. So, God remained faithful and committed to unfaithful Israel as they had broken the Law of Moses, that included the Ten Commandents, instructing Israel to worship only GOD ALMIGHTY and none of the gods of other nations.
With the New Testament The LORD JESUS CHRIST paid the sin debt, making a way for believers to be washed in the Blood of the Lamb, and to be cleansed and forgiven renewing relationship with GOD the Father through the Sacrifice of His Son, the Lord Jesus Christ. When considering marriage for the second time it’s important to check one’s heart motive, and to go before the Lord God, seeking His wisdom and being prepared to accept His answer to do His will and not your will. If this was done before any commitment to a second marriage then folk would not be in a “pickle” post marriage for the second time. Since the LORD GOD knows a person better than they know themselves then wouldn’t it just make more sense to go to one’s Heavenly Father to ask His advice and/or permission.
By involving GOD in the process and waiting for His answer would take all of the confusion, and anxiety out of the equation. (Phillipians 4:6,7).
And possibly causing him to be in adultery too. I too am divorced and met a man that wants to get married but I cannot because he has never been married but I am now in adultery because I have a living 2nd husband and this will cause him to be living in the same. So I chose God over this situation and pretty sure he is now choosing to move on and I am ok with his decision.
To my understanding, if the marriage was broken due to adultery, God blesses her marriage.
I agree because the bible state only unfaithfulmess and death can cause us to divorce and remarry so she is ok if any of the two was done while being married to the first husband
Not according to scripture. She must remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. I don’t know how painful this would be for a woman to remain unmarried because her husband is abusive or unfaithful. Can she be happy as an unmarried woman?
That is so technical…so if the person goes and kills their ex wife or husband, they are no longer living in adultry…and they can be forgiven for murder. I say this to make a point. Moses was divorced and remarried. David had 8 wives. Are they also condemned?
Amen Brian!!
Well first of all the first time I was married my husband had been married before he also had to sons by his first wife I grew up in a Pentecostal the church said I had to divorce him so that bothered me for years but I finally divorced him for the reasons he had a living wife and he physically abused me he was an alcoholic so I guess that was my escape from God to get out of that marriage because in God’s eyes I was not married to him he still had a living wife a year later I met another man which he had not been married before been married to the man for 33 years now but it has been hell I’ve been wanting to divorce him many times and I have asked many pastors was it okay to divorce him and marry someone else and they would say yes that God does not want us in a abusive marriage but every time I read the Bible in Matthew and always says the word always told me for better or for work through sickness and through health let no man separate and that Jesus does not approve of divorce the only time that was approved was back in Genesis in Moses is day because the hardness of the heart that was Jesus came it changed he said let no man separate them they are one now so if you divorce you have to be single until your husband passes away then you can marry another one that has not been married before or he’s a widow that’s what God has spoke to me
Better to remain unmarried.
The first man you married was your legitimate husband.
In the old testament, men could have more than one wife, this was not true for woman. This custom has been outlawed, and is no longer acceptable.
Better to remain unmarried.
I met my husband after his divorce had been finalized after 2 years. But once we got in engaged. His ex wife who ask him for the divorce to leave him of another man. She was still living with him want him back.
Both of us when through church counseling and on a couple treat before our marriage. We been together now for 22 years and for the ex wife she still manipulates the 2 sons to tear at our marriage and now their wives as well.
We just reason put distance between us.
We are happily married besides all we have been through.
That would be truly sad and tragic if you had to dissolve your marriage of 27 years that your happy in, with a husband about to give his life fully to Christ, due this teaching in the church. This is the kind of stuff that really perplexes me about my faith, it makes me really have to tackle these hard questions in his word, and in prayer. This is a tough question, as the church can’t even figure this out, after 2000 years of new testament. Please don’t go divorcing your new husband over this… If you do, you’re going to regret this decision for the rest of your life, and it’s going to cause you decades of guilt, regret, and sadness.
You have been happily married for 27 years, there’s a lot of love between you and your husband, or you wouldn’t have made it 27 years, why would God disapprove of this?
I divorced my 2nd husband of 13 years and remain in married because of this reality. We were in a adulterated marriage. We are always to turn away from sin, why would this sin be any different.
I was a single mother, I had 2 children, I meet my husband, he was married his wife cheated on him, so he divorced her! He waited 10 years, before he married me.
No,I don’t believe so! Reason being if we feel as though remarriage is not good in God’s sight, why would we remarry to divorce a second time? Is this sin all over again?
yes, the woman at the well was married 5 times. Jesus recognized all 5 marriages in his statement. he didn’t say you were married to your covenant husband and sleeping with 4 other dudes. We can’t unscramble the egg here. So just work on the current marriage and don’t look back or it will destroy you.
Margo,
There is the verse in 1 Corinthians 7 (I believe!) about a husband or wife no longer being in bandage. There is also much thought among theologians that Jesus was talking about people remarriage without an actual bill of divorcement (ie, simply “putting the wife away” making it illegal for her to re-marry). If you both are praying to God, He will direct you. Do your lives bear the fruit of His Spirit? Have you felt God has blessed your marriage? Keep praying and listening to God. The only unforgettable sin is blasphemy of the Holy Spirit. People tend to want to squeeze divorce and remarriage in there too.
1 Corinthians 8. Now to the unmarried AND the widows, I say it is good for them to stay unmarried as I do. 9 but if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion. 10 to the married, I give this command, a wife must not separate from her husband. 11 but if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband.
THEN WE GO BACK TO THE “unmarried” because divorcing makes us unmarried again, you get that!? – so pretty much i feel it says “remain unmarried”, but it also says back in (8) the unmarried if u can’t control yourself u “should marry”, for it is better to marry than burn with passion. It makes sense to me that after divorce, now we’re unmarried but also says better to marry than to burn with passion. ANY UNMARRIED I’m assuming it could mean that. Go research and read it and pray about it. I’m in my second marriage but I believe God sees and knows us and has blessed us and brought us together. We all sin and we all have to talk to the Lord for guidance. Through him we can have hope and understanding! Hope this helps someone! Go read and pray on it and make your own conclusion with the Lords help! God Bless!
@Love the Lord!! Amen!!!! So many want to condemn those that divorced and remarried like its blasphemy. Instead going to me men, I would go to God and pray about it. He has the final say not men and if if blesses the second marriage can no MAN or WOMAN, say otherwise. God does things that others don’t understand and its not for them to understand. If those in the remarriage have repented then they have been forgiven. He can allow any exception he chooses. No one but God can say anything, he knows our hearts! So many want to condemn but yet they have a sinful nature and be the first one to throw the stone. Like the Pharisees. Thank God I don’t go to humans but I go to God!
God will help you
Hello Margo. I’m writing from Australia. I trust that my reply will help you. Firstly, Romans 8:1 teaches us, that there is” no condemnation in Christ Jesus….”
Scripture teaches us that “if my heart condemns me than God is greater than my heart.
But if my heart condemns me not than I have peace with God.”
Next: The subject of divorce and remarriage has not been taught regularly from the pulpit in the Body of Christ. Therefore there are many grey areas to be dealt with.
You must remember that the Apostle Paul when writing to the Corinthians in
1 Corinthians 7: (all verses), wrote to believers who lived in a city of deep paganism, Temple prostitution and deeply ingrained immorality.
It is against this backdrop that the Apostle Paul writes his letters to the Corinthian church. In 1 Corinthians 7:7 the Apostle Paul conveys his deep desire for the unmarried to stay as he is, that is, umarried, so as to serve the Lord Jesus. Taking into consideration the audience that the Apostle Paul was writing his letter to, the Church at Corinth.
With a background regarding divorce and remarriage in the modern church arena, God has given each human being a free will.
For those unchurched, not saved, divorce and remarriage is done in darkness due to their
being under the kingdom of darkness, they don’t know any better. But for the born-again Spirit filled believer we have the Word of God, the conviction of the Holy Spirit and our choice to either obey God’s Word, or disobey God’s Word. As your situation is personal to you and you only, God has made a way through His Son, the Lord Jesus Christ, so that you may come to your Heavenly Father (Hebrews 4:16), and unburden your heart ❤ before His Throne of Grace. God’s Word is there to lead you and guide you in all righteousness and Holiness.
I guess what I’m wanting to impart to you, and any who may ready post, is that God’s Word will never bring condemnation, but conviction of sin. So,my suggestion to you is to come before your Heavenly Father and cry out to Him for His guidance, wisdom and seek Him with all of your heart, and your Heavenly Father will show you the way (Psalm 32:8). It would be a good idea for your husband to do the same.
Blessings to you both.
God bless you for writing this, a lot of godly women struggle with this questions silently. Please read Kenneth Hagin’s book – “Marriage, Divorce & Remarriage”. The Holy Spirit will give you peace & clarity. Know that God loves you dearly.
I have been married twice. First time to young and married in a Protestant church. Second time allot of issues surrounding that situation that I should not have gotten married. Also in a Protestant church. After much searching and longing for peace in my life I returned to the Catholic Church. I’m at peace now. I have committed myself to raising my children and taking care of my daughter that has a disability. I think the Catholic Church has a good understanding of the sacrament of marriage and can pastor couples through these difficult issues. Keep in mind. God loves you. Follow His leading to peace with Him. He will guide you. Even if you’re not Catholic seek out a holy Catholic priest to talk to you about your particular situation.
I also struggled with this question. I am divorced and re married. I studied this subject because it bothered me a lot. Apostle Paul said if God chose you in the status you are in, he states that you are to remain in that status. In other words, if you became a believer and baptized after your divorce, you are fine. Your slate has been cleaned. Also if you look at the scripture regarding the woman at the well, Jesus offered her salvation even though she has been married several times. With that being said, if you were already a believer and baptized, and you left the marriage, that might be a problem. But if your spouse left and he was an unbeliever, then let him go. But it does not state that you can divorce. Also if there was adultery committed, only on those ground you can divorce. This is just my humble understanding of this situation. I don’t know if this understanding is correct but for me it seems I am good.
He also said go and “sin no more”. It’s all confusing but with prayer God will guide us. I think marriages can come between God and us and but it’s better to marry than to sin do so. But if a man or woman is what you need to keep you from more sin, does this make it right? God is the one we need to go to with this considering he knows past and future. I think I just answered all my questions lol. Go to God in prayer asking him, pay attention to how you feel right after prayer, what comes to your mind? What is your thoughts? God speaks today just like in the Old Testament. Sometimes we just need to listen. For me I think I need to stay single. I have nothing interfering when I want to get on my knees or when I read his word. When I have someone in my life it takes from all of this. That’s when it’s sin. This is just a personal opinion.
The woman at the well was before Jesus brought in a new covenant. She was not in sin until she was with a man with whom she was not married.
New covenant doesn’t allow for multiple remarriages.
what about if two believers get married, he becomes abusive she separates, then he starts an affair , divorce the original wife and marries another woman and has three kids with her? does that leave the original wife the ability to remarry? what is after standing for five years for the exhusband the og wife realizes she deserves better and wants a godly man? God can change the ex but he what if the ex husband doesn’t make any action to change?
Go remarry. Your husband committed adultery. Even though I don’t believe that God wants you to stick around in an abusive or unhealthy marriage, or a marriage that has an element of abandonment in it, but this is just my personal opinion. I may be biased as I am in the middle of this decision right now with me, being the one abandoned for over 4 years with a wife I see maybe 1-2 days a week, then she’s on her phone texting friends when she is around. I doubt many of these people on this thread, saying you have to be miserable and single now the rest of your life are believers and wonderful marriages, or at least average healthy ones with that fellow believing spouse, and don’t really know the depths of how painful and unhealthy or abusive marriage can get to be, if they did, they would be a lot more understanding and compassion here. This is where religiosity really starts to have a stinky odor, and is driving, desperate and trapped and unhappy believers into turning way from God after throwing their hands up, unable to cope with the stress and misery anymore their relationship. You’re not trapped in marriage is not just be a prison where you have to serve your time. If you committed a crime of loving another person and entering into a covenant with them only for them to ruin, destroy, or make a mockery of it. My opinion, on this matter is, if the church hasn’t figured out fully how to interpret this for these verses in this question, then it’s fair game. We’ve had 2000 years to figure this out. If God is a God of love, peace, hope, which we know he is, you’re telling me a good father would want his daughter to remain in this situation? Even an earthly father would tell his daughter to run for the hills, and find happiness in a new marriage. I am a Bible believing Christian man, but I do feel that sometimes we the church can be very hard on people and not understand the context in these verses. Let’s just think about the fact that we’re still asking this question and nobody can really give us a clear answer 2000 years into the New Testament. if it’s this ambiguous, then clearly, God intended for there to be some wiggle room. I cannot except that God would torture and torment the faithful believer because of the unjust actions done by the unbelieving spouse. Your husband walked away, then committed adultery, you’re in the clear. Go find happiness and love your life and God, I wish you the best!
Nathan Stice, I totally agree with you!
I 100% believe tgat you just said you said nothing wrong fairly said and if the person is a unbeliever and wslk awsy there is nothing you can do god wont charge you just go and remarry and be happy
Agree
Thank you brother. I married 8 years ago to an verbally abusive narcissistic professing believer. I filed for divorce to preserve my life and sanity. I was of the school of thought that remarriage was a sin.
My Love for God and His Word has made me free from the opinion of man. Yes, 2000 years and the question remains. It is interesting that those who judge persons who consider remarriage to another faithful believer are in good marriages.
When a spouse abuses their spouse and does not repent this places him/her in the category of an unbeliever. Also, the Bible is clear as to how God feels about physically and emotional abuse.
I recommend the book A Cry for Justice. Too many believers live for decades in abusive situations and the church needs to recognize and stand to the responsibility of being a refuge for such people.
How many people end up with a chronic illness as a result of abuse and an assembly who will not help.
I am sure a lot of individuals would never want their sons/daughters to be in abusive marriages.
According to scripture she can either remain unmarried or (if possible) reconcile with her husband.
This is the problem of how God actually sees marriage. A woman who was abandoned by her husband is not liable for her husband’s wrongdoings. A woman needed to be taken care of and provided for. The essence of marriage is literally sexual unity. The provisions, the respect the agape love is what Christ was calling His bride – His Church. God is in the business of commitment and faithfulness as He demonstrates that through His Sons commitment to Him and faithfulness to obey His Father. If a marriage is not one of commitment (no abuse, slander and dedication) and faithfulness (no infidelity) than it is not what God intends for marriage.
I can speak truth from experience in my marriage. My beloved husband and I were married 25 years when he became deceived/tempted by the enemy. Sadly, he followed temptation into the wilderness. I took this to God and He showed me in His Holy Word of God that I was bound to my husband till death, Romans 7:1-3 & 1 Corinthians 7:39. God tells us in 1 Corinthians 7:11 that if we separate we must remain unmarried or go back to our one flesh. What is a one flesh spouse? That is when a man and woman, who have never been married, gets married to each other. If a man or woman was married and their one flesh spouse dies then they can marry someone in same situation or one that has never been married before. Luke 16:18 (paraphrased KJV) Jesus is very clear that if a man or woman marries someone divorced or put away they commit adultery. God showed me that I was to stand in the gap for my husband and pray for his soul and our children. I have done what God has asked me to do for many years now and I am thankful that God has trusted me with this. God has seen me through many trials and has protected and provided for me and our children. God has pulled me closer to Him, deeper into His Word and though I am not perfect nor do I get things right at times my relationship with God is better today than before. Either one believes in the Holy Word of God or they don’t. In the end we will stand before Jesus and be judge by the Word of God. If we reject the Word of God or change it to fit our lifestyle we do not belong to Him and will not spend eternity with Him. Remarriage is adultery according to Jesus and in 1 Corinthians 6:9-11, Galatians 5:19-21, Ephesians 5:3-6 KJV we are given lists of sins that will keep one who chooses to live by the flesh, in sin without repentance, from inheriting the Kingdom of God. God is Holy, Just, Righteous and there is no sin/darkness in Him therefore there should be none in us, because we are washed in the blood of Jesus. Please do not take my word for this open your Bible and sit with God and ask Him to reveal His truth to you. I pray this helps
Tonia…
Of all the comments I have read on this subject you are absolutely correct.
Jesus came, and put an end to the Old Testament. When he was on the cross the the vail was rent in twain, signifying, the beginning of a new faith, baptism and a new ministry.
The verses you added about marriage and divorce are concrete. (See Tonia’s comment above)
The bottom line is this: a marriage is consecrated in heaven, the 1st time only…unless death takes you mate, then you are free to marry again, someone who has never been married before, or has lost their mate also….no exceptions!
You can deny what I say here, but it is written! Marriage is a very sacred thing to our Father, and it stands no matter what other religions tell you!
Do your own study, Tonia gives you some of the verses above.
Stay married
It seems there’s a point missing here in most conversations. God knows all. Therefore he knew as humans we’d fall short of the glory of God. So he sent his begotten son. (Set apart) not to condemn the world. God did that with the flood. But to save it. We are screw ups and we need help. Everyone of us. So by Christ sacrifice on the cross. We can be redeemed. No matter the sin. (Except denying the holy spirit. Unforgivable!!) This is not a pass to sin but rather salvation. If you question your relationship with Christ. Hold off on marriage. Walk with God first. Even after divorce. Repent. Seek his direction. Be patient. Love God with all your heart and he will bless your walk. Even in a second marriage. God loves you. He wants you to feel joy. Not of this world but from him. I hope this helps someone struggling.
If denying the Holy Spirit is unforgivable am i going to hell regardless of my asking forgiveness and turning my life around?
I was raised christian, but it was severely strict and shoved down my throat in a bad way. So when I came of age I turned my back and embarrassingly partook in witchcraft and told Him i didnt want Him anymore because i wanted to do what i wanted. I hated what i did and said, I missed God so much and I repented. But you’re saying it’s unforgivable so am I going to go to hell because of a stupid mistake I made for a short period of my life?
Absolutely NOT!
“If we confess our sins (any and all) HE is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from ALL unrighteousness.”
1 John 1:9
Please live in peace.
@Nathan Stice agreed!
People here really coming down hard on remarried believers. I have to wonder if these are just believers in a good, healthy, and fulfilling marriage. If you have truly been in an unhealthy or abusive marriage and have tried to stick it out for years and years it can literally put you in a depression that can begin to literally kill you from the stress. It can consume you and damage your walk with the Lord as well. You’re telling me God APPROVES of this misery? I don’t buy that at all. So you’re just supposed to wait and hope your unbelieving spouse dies or get sick if you and leaves? How is that “honoring God” or your spouse? There are many forms of your spouse “walking away” or abandoning the marriage and it’s not always a physical walking away. An unbelieving spouse can never be around but still remain with their Christian spouse because they know they have it made. I cannot accept that God would require you to remain in that relationship pinning away hoping to see them every 3-4 days to get table scraps emotionally. That’s crazy come on.
Better to dwell on the corner of a housetop…
I know the pain, it is misery. Seperation is sometimes necessary to work on the marriage without being stuck in the abuse. This is not the same as divorce.
Your comment only applies to a “first-marriage “ correct?
I didn’t want to divorce. My husband filed and I had no choice but to go through with it to protect my children. This is not always black and white. I stood for my marriage and my husband was in an affair. I am not the one who openly chose divorce. I have already been told by God after being single for 3 years who is God’s chosen person for me. Yes, I am chosen and this man is chosen. God used many situations to fulfill His purpose.
I was just told that I can never marry again because I made the choice to leave and filed for divorce. I do not agree with this. I made that choice to protect myself and my children. It was clear to me that he no longer held love or compassion for me and the children. He made a choice that ultimately put him in prison as the children were no longer safe around him, as well as any child. How can a loving God make a woman to care for a man’s heart deny her the option to love another man’s heart. She was made to take care of a man’s heat just as he was made to provide and to protect. That is why she was made from the rib, to stand beside, to protect his heart just as the ribcage protects the most vital of organs, the heart.
No matter what happens in life just know that you were always loved and still are. Not only that in life we learn that people wrongfully judge others when we cannot take accountability for our own actions. I say this because I have learned that through my life and I take accountability for my actions but not once have I ever took anybody’s life I have always wish the best for everyone especially the children because they deserve happiness. As well as strong parents to protect them and to also show them how to be in life with good manners and also learning to help others especially the elderly people because the world has forgot about the old moral values. I have learned this just by being by myself and I am very grateful that I could relearn those things, don’t get me wrong some guys are nice but when it comes down to the point I always wanted my husband no matter what because we have been through thick and thin and we always had each other. Not only that it is a great example that everybody has their own faults and sometimes time is needed but when the time is right it will be the most joyfulest and happiest time ever with the knowledge that you and I have gained. Nobody can hold my heart the way that my husband does and the beautiful children that we made, because I want to be that wife that teaches her children that we cook and we clean and take care of the household while the man go to work but we also help him in the process as well because we are no better than anybody else. Remember something out of nothing because it was never about money it was only love from the True Heart.
It says she can divorce him if he was unfaithful.
And if he’s abusing her she shouldn’t have to be punished for a horrible man’s behavior. She deserves to be loved and treated right!
I believe the scriptures are very clear. Adultery is reason for divorce but if you divorce and remarry its the same. No one asks these questions without truly knowing the answer.
I divorced, did not remarry but often wondered and KNEW in the back of my mind the truth . When my ex passed away
the sense that I was free came immediately and that is how I fully understand that we are married for life.
No one wants to hear that and I get it but this is what God intended. I never felt like I was free to remarry, no matter how great someone else was to me.
My experience also my conviction of what the Word says.
@TJW and that’s your own conviction. Not others. We do what God puts on own our hearts.
I got married at 20 due to pregnancy. We were married for three years. He was cold and a porn addict, but I was the one who committed adultery. He began taking new women within a week of moving out, and by the time the divorce was final, he’d had many. Three years later in 2016 he married a new woman and had new children. Then I met Patrick.
Patrick and I have now been together seven years, unmarried, and while living in sin for the first four years of marriage, we had two children that we now raise in church. He is a devoted loving father to them, kind and gentle to me, and we are a tight knit family. We’ve been saved for three years but have not married out of fear and confusion. We nearly married, and the week before our wedding I panicked that I would be committing lifetime adultery and backed out. We live in a rural area with poverty and poor incomes; he travels 90 miles one way daily to work and we have little to no family besides each other, so there is not an option for him to move out. We abstain from sex as much as possible, but it is torture. Every few months we cave. This is not the result of carnal lust, it is the result of familial love. Our pastor told us it’s best to either marry or separate. Yet we can not afford to separate, as we own our home (barely) and the destruction it would bring to our childrens lives. I don’t believe it’s God’s will for children to be raised in single parent households, asking why daddy doesn’t live there. I can not erase the bond Patrick and I have gained through salvation and children, so we will always long for each other. I feel cast out and confused. I struggle to worship more and more because of shame. I struggle to believe it is God’s will to dissolve a loving nuclear Christian family. Broken families and broken children make room for Satan to work.
Yet scriptures say I will be a lifetime adulteress if I do not. The destruction of family is Satan’s ways, and I want to vomit at the thought of our loving family being involuntarily broken apart, if that were even financially possible. I wonder if the covenant of my first marriage is immune to the blood of Christ that has been given me. I ask if I was even a new creature that broke forth from the water. How can I be, if my old marriage covenant resists baptism and Christs blood? I feel that grace and a “new creature” is only extended to people who have gotten relationships right from the beginning. I cry through sermons about marriage. I am trapped in a state of misery where I can not marry, but can not break my children and family either. I even feel that I can not truly receive grace as long as my ex husband lives.
Jesus told the woman at the well to go and sin no more you repented of all your sins when you were saved at the well he didn’t say repent and go back to your first husband I believe Gods grace is sufficient for us all religious beliefs will put more burdens on us than we can bear Be much in prayer God will direct your path. Whom the Lord sets free is free indeed